“How little of permanent happiness could belong to a couple
who were only brought together because their passions were stronger than their
virtue.” ~Jane Austen
I cannot make up my mind whether or not I would live in
Jane’s era or not. On the one hand, it is so romantic, the way the women were
courted, and not dated, nor bedded, well for the most part, but on the other
hand, I don’t like that there was occasionally no romance involved, just a
business deal. “I’ll trade my best calf for your daughter’s hand in marriage.”
But isn’t that true today? Well, not the trading of livestock, but well, sort
of. People today, I think often get married out of convenience. “We’ve been
together for several years, we’ve already slept together. I guess we should get
married.” That’s the next step right? Are they truly, head over heels in love
or just settling? And what is the point of getting married at all when you
slept with him on the third date? Oh yeah, tax write off. And I think on the
opposite end of the spectrum there are the Christian’s or do-gooders or
whatever you want to call them, the one’s that wait, well, try to wait till
they are married to have the sex! I find that most of them get married too
soon, all because they want to get to the sex part as soon as possible and not
break the “moral code”. So they date for three, four, five months, and plan the
wedding for the sixth. Which one of these scenarios is ideal? Will either of
these hypothetical relationships last? And where do I fit in to this? I do have
my own “moral code” but I don’t want to end up like any of these couples. Of
which all of my hypothetical couples end up divorced, they just do, because it
is my hypothetical and that’s the way I chose to end it!
You know? I never thought of myself as a Romantic girl. I am
not sappy; I am not one for the Romantic Comedies. But I had a friend tell me,
“You are a true romantic, you love Jane Austen stories, unrequited love, and
the excitement of the character when he helps her into the carriage. True romance, not just sex, but romance.” I
said, “By God, you are right!” I didn’t really because I don’t talk like that
but for my sake, pretend, ok? I think that my generation has rushed to the sex
part of the relationship and totally skipped the romance. The butterflies. It
hasn’t happened much in my life, but I have had that enjoyable experience once
or twice. Isn’t that what makes the whole process worth it? I heard once that,
Anticipation is the purest form of pleasure. I believe that whole-heartedly.
Isn’t the waiting, the best part, because once its over, its over, but the
waiting, and the planning, and the anticipation is a pleasure only time can
take away. That pertains to romance, you think? When he touches you on the arm
or leg or whatever for the first time, and you think, “Did he mean to do that?
I wish he would do it again!” And then you wait…and depending what kind of guy
he is…you wait… “Oh, he touched me again. He did mean to! I can’t wait to hold
his hand.” There are so many thoughts and emotions to the process, why would
you want to bypass any of it? “Hey! How are you?” “Hey! Good.” And we are
having sex! Where is the fun in that? I mean, I've heard sex is enjoyable,
but is it less enjoyable than if you had waited and experienced all the in
between? Probably, but how would you know if you didn’t wait, there is only one
way to find out. To wait. And what happens when this guy turns into a real
creeper? Now don’t you feel grossed out that you let him all up in your
business? Well, you should. Not that I am judging, everyone makes their own
decisions and everyone makes mistakes but I just want to put this out there to
pose the questions, to make you think.
Who think? I don’t know, maybe just me think!
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