“A single woman with a narrow income must be ridiculous, disagreeable old maid, the proper sport of boys and girls; but a single woman of good fortune is always respectable, and may be a sensible and pleasant as anybody else.” ~Emma
I am just wondering if something is not right with me.
Without meaning to sound full of myself, which I don’t think I am because I am
so insecure, but people seem to like me. People seem to have fun with me and
enjoy my company. That’s what they tell me anyway, and how they act but…no one
seems to WANT me. They want to be with me but not WITH me. Am I fun but fun in
doses, like I would be annoying if I was around all the time? But I am not
always on. I have many degrees of emotions. Am I too mean? I think I have sweetness in me too. I’m no Emma but I’m also no Ms. Bates. I am chunky but a lot of chunky girls have
boyfriends, and some of them even found these guys without the Internet. So
what am I missing? Or what do I have too much of, beside junk in the trunk. I
just wish that someone would answer my questions? Why am I always just a friend
and nothing more?
Will the real Jane
Austen please stand up?
I’m not that girl. I am never going to be that girl. Jane
sums up my entire life with, “The more I know of the world, the more I am
convinced that I shall never see a man whom I can really love.” But it might be
the reverse, the more I know of the world, the more I am convinced that that I
shall never see a man whom will really love me.
Am I completely translucent? I am there, and they sort of
see me but they don’t REALLY see me. My hope is failing. My faith is failing.
At the risk of sounding…Woe is me, I don’t know many people who feel this way.
I don’t feel I have anyone to talk to about this, well except for Jane. She
would understand how I am feeling. She would completely and utterly make light
of my situation but she would understand. Wouldn’t she?
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