First, I went to church to help my friend in the nursery. The innocence and joy of being around babies, lifted my spirits. In the evening I tried a church I've heard a few people talk about, Reality LA. Loved it. My new church. Also, I know I spoke about eating healthy, which I did, all day up until we discovered Pink's Hot Dogs was very near church. I have always wanted to go there. So I did. It was amazing. A Los Angeles rite of passage. Perhaps the reason I never felt at home here last time was due to my lack of Pink's Hot Dogs. Anywho, yesterday was a practice run, today is the first day of my diet. WINK. Yesterday was the start to a great week. I can feel it.
Charlotte: “Few of us are secure enough to be in love without proper encouragement. Bingley likes her enormously, but might not do more if she does not help him on.”
Elizabeth: “She's just shy. If he cannot perceive her
regard, he is a fool.”
Charlotte: “We are all fools in love. He does not know her
character as we do.”
I have been reading a book called Captivating, it says that
women have three desires in life…to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role
in a great adventure, and to unveil beauty. When I gave it thought I came to
the conclusion that I agree wholeheartedly with this statement. Everything I
have ever done, felt, or said goes along with these three desires. I have also
come to the conclusion that I have the wrong mindset. I have always believed
that I put God first and the longing for a relationship second. Not true. I
have discovered that my self-worth has been tied up into what everyone else
thinks of me, or what I assume they think of me. This is not much considering I
have never had a date. I was basing it on what I believe they (meaning boys)
think of me and not what God thinks of me. And He thinks I am breathtaking. And
a part of me says, “Well, He thinks that because He made you and that is what
parents think of their kids.” Or did he make me because he knew I was going to
BE breathtaking. He could have easily thrown me back so to say, when he realized
I was just ordinary, but he chose to keep me around because I was
extraordinary! I think once I get this embedded in my brain I will have a whole
new perspective on life.
I also realized while reading this book that men today do
not pursue. They used to, as we well know from every book Jane has written,
they just sit around and wait to see who is coming after them. “If a woman is
partial to a man, and does not endeavor to conceal it, he must find it out.”
Not all men, there are some, and most likely, they are already married. I will
not accept this. If it means I will not get married, so be it. That is fine.
Especially with my new perspective on life, but God help me, in the words of
Bethany Dillon, “I want to be pursued!” So Bingley’s of the world: who are shy
and reserved and almost lose your women because of similar
characteristics...MAN UP! Read a book on real men preferably written by a
woman!
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