Life is Hard

I'm having one of those ugly days.....um...weeks.  The anxiety has even infiltrated my dreams.  Jon Snow, my boyfriend was disinterested in one dream.  I cried while I dreamt the next night because no one ever wanted to date me so I must truly be ugly.  In the same dream, I peed all over myself in the bathroom.  What does that have to do with feeling insecure?  I read once that dreaming there are complications while needing to use the restroom means there are areas in your life you feel of which you don't have control.  BINGO.

I shouldn't be feeling this way...losing weight, getting fit doing Insanity. 

Maybe it all started with a failed phone interview with NFL studios for a freelance PA because I always say the wrong thing.  Maybe a little of the lack of sleep from working a few different jobs is affecting my mental state.  Maybe a smidgen of people treating you like dirt because you merely work retail because being treated like a dog makes you feel like a dog.  Maybe a fraction of the fact everyone in your family is about to be married and you have never even been on a date.  Just maybe.  Common sense and faith in Jesus reminds me that he has this.  This is his to take, but there must be a weak link in the chain that Satan has found.  And he's a pulling at it.

The cure isn't just any Industry Job because God has that in his plans.  The cure isn't quitting all my jobs that bring in the bacon.....mmmmm bacon.  The cure isn't going on a date with just any guy; I only want one guy.....my guy.  The cure is being brave.

I know everything I'm doing is what I am suppose to be doing so all I can do is be brave.  I had the urge to watch Brave this morning.  Then I watched Sara Bareille's new video "Brave".  It seems to be the theme of the day.  The word God decided to give me to get through this little issue I am having.  Not little.  Not really. 

brave

 [ brayv ]  

 

 

1. having or showing courage: having or showing courage, especially when facing danger, difficulty, or pain

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. (1 Corinthians 16:13)