Ship....Court?

Much like Lena Dunham getting kissed by Patrick Wilson in this week's episode of Girls....the events in my life don't seem real and I want to scream at the TV screen of my life...."WHAT IS HAPPENING!?" 

The proverbial "they" say you shouldn't post a blog of longer than two paragraphs or you risk the chance that your audience will lose interest...you may as well stop reading now.   

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a girl of my age would have everything figured out.  From now on when someone asks me my age, my response will be, "How old is my body or how old am I mentally?  Because I am only just now figuring this stuff out. 

If you asked me what I was going to do with my life last week, I would have told you....going to Culinary School in AR and possibly moving to NYC. 

But now.....I just had the time of my life playing Script Supervisor on a Pilot and it just got real!  At this point I don't remember how much information I divulged about my future plans but scrap all of it. 

Today, I paid a deposit for a Baking Program that will go from April til June.  I will have a Certificate of Completion and be able to get a job as a Pastry Chef this summer to supplement whilst I look for Script Supervisor jobs.  Who knew!?  I surely didn't.  Wowza. 

Last week, I was all set to go back to AR, live with one of my besties and go to school.  I mean, I have financial aid and everything set up for that.....but now......is this the definition of flaky or is this what the journey is all about? 

"For Miss ----------, read Miss Smith.

My first displays the wealth and pomp of kings,
Lords of the earth! their luxury and ease.

That is court.

Another view of man, my second brings;
Behold him there, the monarch of the seas!

That is ship;--plain as it can be.--Now for the cream.

But ah! united, (courtship, you know,) what reverse we have!
Man's boasted power and freedom, all are flown.
Lord of the earth and sea, he bends a slave,
And woman, lovely woman, reigns alone.

A very proper compliment!--and then follows the application, which I think, my dear Harriet, you cannot find much difficulty in comprehending. Read it in comfort to yourself. There can be no doubt of its being written for you and to you." ~Emma

 

Much like Harriet Smith, I am easily confused by riddles and courtship. 

Another, thought provoking turn of events has happened in the last several weeks.

 

For the first time in my life, I think I am ready to date.  I could never imagine it before.   I have had many crushes before and liked a guy or two but I wasn't actually ready to date.  So I never actually gave them any inclination that I was interested.  There was always some form of self-sabotage involved in these situations.  So, now that I am actually ready to date I don't actually know how.  I don't know how to get the message out there that I am interested whilst keeping my desire to be pursued.  The tricky part is I have come to the realization that guys do not pursue anymore.   They may go as far as a text to come hang out with him and his friends, but dating appears to be dead. 

I read a very interesting article about the death of courtship....
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/13/fashion/the-end-of-courtship.html?smid=fb-share&_r=0

.....sad.  Perhaps, I missed out.  As dramatic as it may sound, I refuse to settle for anything less the love story I deserve.  Even if it means ending up single.  I will not text him first.  John Wayne would take initiative and contact me first.  I will accept nothing less than John Wayne.  I actually changed my screensaver on my phone to  this....

 

...to remind me what real men look like.  These are the men that would say, "Howdy.  What are your plans for Valentine's Day?  I'd like to take you out."  These are the men we wait for, ladies.  Join me in boycotting anything but what we deserve.

To conclude....I have lost 8 LBS since the beginning of Feb.  And yes, I am doing it in a very healthy way. 

Living it up in LA

What are men to rocks and mountains. ~Pride and Prejudice

I am a little late posting this, but I forgot to talk about my LA Bucket List....

Since I have decided to move, I feel free to enjoy this city.  Act as a long term tourist, if you will.  So my roommate and I have decided to mark things off our Bucket List whilst still in LA.  It started two weeks ago.  First on the agenda was The Hollywood Sign. 

To anyone ever planning to do this.....It is over a mile hike.  All the way up hill.  My calf muscles stopped hurting a week later.  Also, don't wear Converse.  I couldn't breathe.  It was super embarrassing.

Next on the agenda, the 500 Days of Summer bench!

Someone jack ass stole the plaque off the bench.  Yeah, it's cool you have that on your wall, but consider the other fans in the world that would have wanted to see the plaque.  Just a thought.  And if you ever visit this area....beware of the homeless people that have no other place to "get busy" than in this park. 

Then, we hit up the Marina.  So, I used to live there so it wasn't quite as spectacular as everything else on the list but it was a beautiful day.

Last week, was not as crazy, but it was delicious.  I had the White Chocolate Blueberry Cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory.  Sadly, there is no picture.  I ate it before I remembered to take a pic.  And yes, there is cheesecake on the Bucket List.  Why wouldn't there be? 

Once, Kylie wakes we shall mark something else off the Bucket List.  Stay tuned.

In other news....I am 4 lbs lighter today than when I weighed yesterday morning.

That is all.

Thinspiration!

Last night I came up with the word thinspiration, but then I typed it into Pinterest only to discover...that in fact, was not true. 

I've decided to show you how I am feeling as I lay in my bed, in my pjs, ready to sleep, as I write my blog. Cue the Doogie Howser theme song....

Let's get down to brass tax (is that the expression?, what does it even mean?)  I failed on my no sugar. 

I had sugar several times in the last week.  Shesh.  I feel awful and my skin hurts...literally hurts...like burns from the sugar.  This has happened before so I know that is the case.  Also, until today I hadn't weighed since May.  In May, I was not at my smallest.  I was about 8 to10 lbs heavier than I had been once, well, as I suspected and a little worse actually, I was even 22 lbs heavier than that!  Since May I have gained 30 lbs!  EESH!  No one to blame but myself.  I needed that thinspiration to jump back on the bandwagon.  So, I got back on my no carb diet today and am trying to get rid of the baked goods (not by eating them) by giving them away but California is different than AR.  I feel like I can't give them to neighbors.  They would think it suspicious.  Laced with razor blades or drugs.  Anyway, I am going to keep up with my weight loss via this blog in hopes that it will keep me accountable.  I have goals and rewards.  REWARDS that are NOT FOOD, btw.  Because that would just perpetuate the cycle, no?  Clothes are my rewards.  There are some great outfits on Pinterest that I have been salivating over for long enough!  Time to get in these outfits!

I hope to lose 2 to 2.5 lbs a week.  I have a 6 day a week workout schedule.  And goal clothes to fit into. 

And to add insult to weight gain....I have decided to start this hard core right before we film next week.  I don't know if any of you know about film sets, but  most of what there is to do is eat.  Also, I will be getting to set at 5 am and leaving at 5 pm.....My goal is to still lose the 2 lbs next week.